Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
Randomize
