I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
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