Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
Randomize
