you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
