the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize