drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
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