good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
Randomize
