what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
Randomize
