It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
my nose is crying tears of wow.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Randomize
