In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
Randomize
