you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
Randomize
