I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Randomize
