I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
Randomize
