She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Randomize
