like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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