either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize
