I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Randomize
