dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize
