Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
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