you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
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