I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
there was a trapeze. enough said
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
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