The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
