didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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