belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
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