Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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