Whod you bang
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
