Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
i just stumbled downstairs, still drunk, to hug my dad and wish him a happy fathers day
but fathers day is next sunday
i realized that after i threw up on his bare feet
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
Randomize
