i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
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