I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Randomize
