Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
