Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
