I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
Randomize