I feel great
I just peed on a car
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
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