I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
