You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
It was confusing and full of hummus
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
he laminated a picture of his dick.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
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