how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Randomize
