Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
So. Much. Porn.
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