Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
Randomize
