I only kidnapped one of them. chill
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
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