Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
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