You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
Randomize
