I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
Randomize
