What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
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