Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
Randomize
