I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
Randomize
