Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize