ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
