my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Randomize