Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
Randomize
