Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
Use "feeling words"
Yay
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
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