So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
