I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize
