Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
Randomize
