I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
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