YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
It's rum buckets o'clock
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Randomize
