Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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