Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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