He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
i jhust puked up my retainher.
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Randomize