It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
