It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Randomize
