The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Randomize
