he told me I talked like a deaf person
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Randomize