Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
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