If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
She's the barista slut.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
Randomize
