after a month anything with tits is on the radar
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
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