where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
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