I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Randomize
