Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
Randomize
